Cootie Protection

cpIndie authors have cooties. I can say that because I . . . have cooties. I don’t have an agent or traditional publisher. I do have a couple of books and seven amazing fans. I have tried to imitate the cootie-free and their platforms—the way they announce new books on facebook and twitter, their sincere gratitude for readers, how they conduct author interviews. (Though I’ve stopped short of discussing my “craft” unless it’s followed by macaroni and cheese).

Their confidence smells so good vs. the decaying-baby-rattlesnake-clobbered-to-death-in-the-bottom-of-a-baseball-bat-bag-undiscovered-for-a-whole-season whiff of desperation that harbors the stinky bacteria of cooties.

Since I’m an indie, I guess I have to do it myself and make my own C.P.

Cootie Protection
2 TBSP Febreze
1/2 cup finely minced jealousy
1 cup blanched dreams
Stir in handful of Suck It Up
Shake fist at Universe
Spray liberally and make sure to get it in your eyes.

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Not Enough Midol In The World!

The amazing (and very, very funny) author Jess Riley invited me over, today! For some reason, she wanted to know about my teenage years. (Nothing to write home about.) (Move along.) (Not enough Midol in the world!) MidolIn any case, please mark your calendar for July 16th so you can be sure to read her new novel, Mandatory Release! (Thanks, Jess!)

Mandatory+Release+amazon+cover