Eleanor Brown and Sarah Pekkanen, I Ain’t..

With homage to two of my favorite authors, Eleanor Brown and Sarah Pekkanen, who are so gracious and eloquent, and always say just the right thing; I am eternally impressed (read: jealous) by the inspiration they share with their readers.

To that end, I thought I’d try to reach out, craft words of wisdom and “exercise” one of my demons with some uplifting tips. Where did I go wrong?

Work-Out FundaMENTALs:

  • If you do not understand what DO NOT USE YOUR CELL PHONE means, (you know, that giant sign posted on the easel you have to walk around to enter the gym) please ask for help.
  • DO NOT blow your nose into the neck of your t-shirt that you are currently wearing.
  • If you must do Tai Chi, please DO NOT do it on the treadmill next to me.
  • There is no such thing as calling SAFETY on work-out equipment. (That only works in your your own home, with SECOND-GRADERS.)
  • Subsection IV: DO NOT leave your trash behind, this includes but is not limited to used towels, gum wrappers, gum, kleenex (really?!), bandaids (are you kidding me?), newspapers, cups, bottles, Q-TIPS??!!
  • DO NOT prop up the the hairdryer in the locker room to blow dry your underpants.

Sigh. There is a cinnamon Pop-Tart at home with my name on it that I plan on eating (outside edges first) while reading what Eleanor and Sarah are up to. So help me, if they are doing a charity 5K for the underprivileged, I will scream.