Spank Me, Pull My Hair, Make Me Call You Daddy!

As the Dominatrix of my empire, I experimented with a little PP on BB (PayPal on BookBub) action. (My safe word, review, was never used.)

BookBub is the hottest indie advertising venue around. But get in line, because traditional publishers are using it, too. My sixth women’s fiction/chick lit novel hit the shelves this summer. (Hit is such a strong word, it was more of a fly-swatter-swing-and-a-miss that knocked it behind the bookshelf for the enjoyment of dust bunnies. And crickets.)

  • BookBub slot: Sunday, September 8th
  • $240  (Price just increased to $260)
  • Women’s Fiction category: 350,000 email subscribers
  • BookBub statistics: Average sold: 1,060, Range sold: 80-2,700
  • Bargain: 99 cents, down from $2.99 (35 cent royalty)

I needed to sell 685 books to break even. After one week, nailed it. My book’s visibility and author rank was boosted up the list on Amazon, though I never broke that all-important Top 100.Screen shot 2013-09-09 at 8.34.59 AM

True Confession: I also went all in on some FB self-pleasuring and did a Facebook boosted promotion for $30, to the tune of 12,256 views. (Bless me Father, for I have sinned, it has been one week since I have been so obnoxious.)

And to complete this ménage à trois, I am in the middle of a Goodreads self-serve advertising campaign. That began August 6th, with a budget of $54, that I just can’t seem to spend. I have had 51,758 views, with only had 13 clicks (you pay per click). (I have changed the ad at least ten times and keep upping the click rate and daily total, and finally contacted Goodreads who replied that they have been having problems.)

Selling nearly 700 books in one week is awesome. As a business person . . .  (I’m just kidding, I’m not a business person! I just play one when tallying up what I need to earn to finance this business of writing.) I am glad I put out, but dream of one day being wined and dined. Off to make it rain!

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Cootie Protection

cpIndie authors have cooties. I can say that because I . . . have cooties. I don’t have an agent or traditional publisher. I do have a couple of books and seven amazing fans. I have tried to imitate the cootie-free and their platforms—the way they announce new books on facebook and twitter, their sincere gratitude for readers, how they conduct author interviews. (Though I’ve stopped short of discussing my “craft” unless it’s followed by macaroni and cheese).

Their confidence smells so good vs. the decaying-baby-rattlesnake-clobbered-to-death-in-the-bottom-of-a-baseball-bat-bag-undiscovered-for-a-whole-season whiff of desperation that harbors the stinky bacteria of cooties.

Since I’m an indie, I guess I have to do it myself and make my own C.P.

Cootie Protection
2 TBSP Febreze
1/2 cup finely minced jealousy
1 cup blanched dreams
Stir in handful of Suck It Up
Shake fist at Universe
Spray liberally and make sure to get it in your eyes.